


Learning how not to be Alone

by There_Once_Was_A_Girl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Baggage, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Swear wolves, Swearing, Traumatized Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25613149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/There_Once_Was_A_Girl/pseuds/There_Once_Was_A_Girl
Summary: No longer a kanima Jackson is alone and not sure what to do with himself the summer after season 2. Boyd is sent to keep an eye on Jackson, and the two boys bond and slowly figure out how to fit their lives together
Relationships: Vernon Boyd/Jackson Whittemore
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Learning how not to be Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TamerOfPickles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamerOfPickles/gifts).



> This work is the result of a BLM charity auction! Many thanks to Ryan (TamerOfPickles) for donating to the cause, hope this is what you wanted! My editing skills are always a bit of a mess so if anyone spots any grammar/spelling mistakes let me know!
> 
> I played a bit fast and loose with canon, especially regarding Boyd's history, more on that in the end notes.

Jackson was glad he was no longer a Kanima, he was, but he didn’t know what to do with himself as a werewolf. He had been doing his best to keep his head down ever since Lydia had saved him. She had properly dumped him after everything settled, declaring that she had finally realized that she deserved a lot better than him. Jackson knew that she was right, and he couldn’t really hold it against her. He didn’t love Lydia, he wasn’t sure if he ever had, but he did care about her, and he hoped she found someone better for her. Not, of course, that Jackson would ever express such thoughts to anyone else, especially her. He had barely acknowledged it to himself. 

Derek had done the basics of teaching Jackson how to control himself on full moons but told him that until he was ready to be a part of the Hale pack like he was supposed to be, he had to go to Scott if he needed any help. Jackson was resolved not to do it. He was pretty sure he’d rather accidentally lose control, run wild in the reserve, and get shot by a hunter than have to ask McCall and his merry band of idiots for help. He didn’t want anything to do with Hale either, especially since the guy had tried to kill him at least once. Of course since he had been even more aggressive than usual when he was the Kanima he had alienated a lot of his friends from school as well. He had been avoiding Danny more than ever since he came back to himself. He didn’t know how to explain anything to his best friend. Jackson didn’t even know how to look at his best friend really, not after he had nearly killed him in the club. 

All together everything led to Jackson being very alone. Being a werewolf and alone all the time waiting for things to turn into a disaster again had made him very edgy, which meant that he nearly jumped out of his skin when he got up to his room, closed the door behind him and then turned to see a figure sitting at his desk chair in the shadows. “Who the hell-” he started before the shadowy figure resolved itself into Boyd looking the same as always in his dark leather jacket with a blank expression on his face. “Boyd? What the fuck are you doing in my room?” 

“Derek wanted one of us to keep an eye on you. I drew the short straw,” Boyd said. 

“Well you can go tell Derek that I don’t need a damn babysitter. Why would he send me one anyway?” Jackson asked. 

“Derek was the one who bit you. You’re his responsibility, and technically a part of our pack,” Boyd said flatly. 

“I’m not a part of that rag tag mess you lot call a pack!” Jackson snapped. “I don’t need anyone keeping an eye on me either.”

“Well I’m here,” Boyd said. “Deal with it.”

“How did you even get in?” Jackson asked with a huff taking off his jacket, hanging it up in his closet and slamming the door with too much force. 

“Window,” Boyd answered. 

“Does Derek just teach you freaks how to sneak into people’s bedrooms through windows?” Jackson demanded, dropping down onto his bed. 

“Join the pack and find out,” Boyd said. Jackson rolled his eyes.

“Did Derek really think you were going to be an effective recruitment tool?” he asked in his most demeaning voice. Boyd did not react which was infuriating. 

“Look, are you just going to hang around here like a creep?” Jackson snapped. Boyd stood up. 

“Tomorrow’s the full moon. What are your plans?” he asked. 

“To sit in here in my bedroom and watch television,” Jackson replied. “Alone.” 

“Good.” Boyd said. Then he climbed back out the window and vanished into the night without saying anything else. Jackson stared at the open window in disbelief. He had been starting to think that being a werewolf automatically made people obnoxiously talkative and unable to mind their own business. It had certainly worked on McCall, Erica, and Isaac anyway. 

~~~

Jackson was sure to lock his bedroom window the next day before he settled in for the evening. He could feel the full moon like an itch under his skin, trying to get him to lose control. The last thing he needed was another damn werewolf in his room. Of course what he hadn’t counted on was that not everyone in McCall’s stupid little group was a werewolf. When his bedroom door swung open he turned around to snap at his mother to get out of his room, but he was met with the sight of Stiles standing in his doorway. 

“What are you doing here, Stilinski?!” He growled. “How the hell did you get into my house?” 

“There was a window open in your living room, I let myself in,” Stiles said, looking totally unconcerned by admitting to breaking into Jackson’s house. “Scott wanted to check in on you but he says you threatened to kill him next time you saw him, so he sent me. As far as I know I don’t have any standing death threats yet,” 

“Well consider this your notification that you now have a standing death threat, now get the fuck out Stiliniski!” Jackson snapped. 

“Look this isn’t my idea of a fun evening either!” Stiles protested. “You have nearly killed me several times now so I’d love to be somewhere else but if you go rampaging through the town and kill somebody Scott and I will have to deal with the fallout, god knows Derek won’t take any responsibility.”

“I’m not rampaging around killing anyone!” Jackson insisted. 

“Anymore,” Stiles pointed out. 

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Jackson repeated. “The only thing that is going to make me rampage through the town and kill people is if you stay around here and keep making me angry.” He could feel his claws growing out of his fingers as he spoke, and suspected that his eyes had gone blue. 

“Right, I’ll be going then! Call me if you wake up covered in blood!” Stiles said, already on his way out the door. “Better yet, don’t!” 

Jackson sighed in relief and flopped back onto his bed. He didn’t like the fury that boiled in his veins when people pissed him off these days. He had always had a short temper, he was the first to admit it, but it was different as a werewolf. His rage used to be a clean sort of feeling, that always helped banish other more difficult feelings that he wanted to avoid. After he had been Bitten he found his anger felt poisoned, a dangerous unfamiliar thing, and he didn’t want to know what would happen if he lost control of it. The full moon did not help his rage issues at all. 

It was a few minutes before Jackson finally sat up and when he did he saw something out of the corner of his eye through the window. He almost ignored it, but his instincts for things he had better pay attention to had gotten better. He turned back to the window and saw a figure sitting on the roof calmly. He recognized Boyd, and considered leaving him locked out sitting on the roof. It served him right, coming back after Jackson had told him not to. He was surprised to find that he didn’t particularly want to, his vindictive instincts fading in the absence of Stilinski. He hesitated for a second and then went over and flicked the lock on the window. Boyd slipped into the room not long after Jackson had flopped back down on the bed. Boyd glanced around and then sunk down to sit on the floor at the foot of the bed without saying a thing. 

Jackson turned his TV on and flicked through the channels until he landed on ESPN. They sat in silence, watching a highlights reel for a while. Jackson surprised himself by being the one to break the silence. 

“Does it ever get easier?” he asked. “Full moons?” 

“Sort of,” Boyd said after a moment of thought. “You get more used to it, but it still feels like something in your veins is trying to crawl out.” 

“Joy,” Jackson sighed. Boyd nodded in agreement. 

“What did being the kanima feel like?” Boyd asked after a few moments. “Was it the same, or different?” 

Jackson hesitated. From anyone else the question would have pissed Jackson off, but somehow he wasn’t particularly bothered by Boyd asking. He did not seem to be judging Jackson at all, just mildly curious. So Jackson didn’t snap or tell Boyd to get out again, instead he thought about the question. 

“Being the kanima was very different,” Jackson said eventually. “It was worse really, because I didn’t know what was happening. I felt like I was losing my mind. I knew I was losing time, just hours where I had no idea where I had been or what I had been doing. I was angry all the time, but it wasn’t my anger it was _his_ , Matt’s.” 

Jackson couldn’t help hissing out the name. He knew that Matt was dead. He knew that he probably should feel a bit bad about it, all things considered, since Gerard had killed Matt because he wanted Jackson, and because Matt had been unstable but probably not evil. He didn’t care. He hated Matt. The guy had used Jackson as a tool, a weapon, and Jackson would never forgive him for it. 

“You felt his anger?” Boyd asked. Jackson nodded. 

“Yes,” Jackson agreed. “It was horrible. Old man Argent was probably worse though. When he had the kanima serving him he was more in control, so I felt more helpless. Argent was cold, not angry, calculating, he was terrifying.” 

“That man was insane,” Boyd said. “I seriously thought we were all going to die.” 

“We almost did,” Jackson said laughing a little. After a few moments of silence he shook his head a bit after thinking. 

“You know for all the fighting and almost dying I’ve done with you lot, I think you’re the only damn supernatural person in this town I can tolerate for more than five minutes?” 

“I bet you don’t even know my first name,” Boyd said. Jackson frowned and then shrugged. “It’s Vernon,” Boyd said. 

“Vernon?” Jackson asked in disbelief, laughing. “That’s horrible.” Boyd rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. They spent the rest of the evening watching various things on TV making only occasional comments about nothing particularly important. Eventually Jackson fell asleep. 

~~~~

When Jackson woke up the next morning Boyd was still asleep on his bedroom floor with his head on one of Jackson’s pillows which he had obviously stolen. He also had a blanket that Jackson recognized as a large throw that his mother kept in the linen closet in the hall draped over him. Jackson blinked at the sight of Boyd in surprise, wondering if he had snuck into the hall looking for bedding. Asleep, Boyd looked younger and significantly less intimidating than he usually did, and Jackson actually smiled a bit before he leaned down and shook his shoulder. 

“Wake up and get out of my house, Vernon,” he said. Boyd opened his eyes and somehow managed to look unconcerned in spite of the obvious surprise of being awoken so rudely. 

“Don’t call me that,I know you think it’s stupid,” Boyd insisted. Jackson rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever, Vee,” he muttered. Boyd didn’t object to this, but he didn’t seem to be paying much attention, looking down at the blanket that had puddled in his lap when he sat up in curiosity. 

“Where did this come from?” he asked. 

“The hall closet, you didn’t grab it?” Jackson asked. Boyd shook his head and Jackson frowned for a moment before shrugging. “Must have been my mom, she pokes her head in to check on me sometimes if she wakes up in the middle of the night.” 

“Oh,” Boyd said, looking surprised for the first time. “That’s nice.” 

“Whatever,” Jackson said with another shrug. “You should probably leave through the front door if she’s already seen you.” 

“Yeah okay, see you around,” Boyd said, getting up and shrugging the leather jacket, which he had taken off sometime in the night, back on. 

“You going to be stalking me more often, then?” Jackson asked before Boyd left the room. Boyd just rolled his eyes at him and departed. Jackson sighed and headed towards his bathroom to clean up for the day. Jackson ran into his mom in the kitchen when he went down for breakfast and she smiled at him. 

“Did your friend leave already?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Jackson said with a nod, deciding against trying to explain that Boyd was not really his friend. “Speaking of which, what were you doing sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night again? I told you, I don’t like it when you come in while I’m asleep.” 

“Oh I’m sorry, I don’t mean to invade your privacy. It's just comforting to see you asleep,” his mother said. “Anyway, I’m glad to see you had a friend over. It has been so long since you’ve spent time with friends. I haven’t seen Danny in ages, did you two have a fight?” 

“Something like that,” Jackson muttered, grabbing cereal and escaping his mother’s concerned questioning. 

~~~~~

Jackson didn’t see Boyd again for several days, but he had discovered that Boyd had left him his phone number. Jackson had programmed it into his cellphone labeled V and sent Boyd a text so that he’d have Jackson’s number too. After that Boyd made it a habit to send him at least one daily text that said something along the lines of “have you killed anyone?” though it varied day by day. 

Boyd finally turned up at Jackson’s house again a week after the full moon, though he surprised Jackson by actually knocking on the front door instead of creeping in through the window. It was also the middle of the day instead of the night when he arrived. Jackson would never admit it to anyone, most especially Boyd, but he was glad to see him. It had been a long lonely week, and Jackson was grateful for any company at all. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked all the same when he opened the door and stood aside to let Boyd in. 

“Recruitment drive,” Boyd answered flatly. He followed Jackson into the living room and dropped onto the opposite end of the couch. 

“I don’t want to be in your stupid pack,” Jackson said. 

“I know,” Boyd agreed. “I don’t think Derek even really wants you so much as he’d rather you were with us than with Scott.” 

“I thought he and Scott were on better terms these days,” Jackson remarked. Boyd shrugged. 

“They are, but Derek still doesn’t want him recruiting a full pack of his own. Anyway he’s the one who bit you, so he feels responsible,” Boyd explained. 

“He hoped I would die,” Jackson growled. Boyd shrugged again. 

“I never said he was a really great guy,” he said. “But he is our alpha and he looks out for us.” 

“Why did you ever join up with him in the first place, Vee?” Jackson asked. “You’re a smart guy.” 

“I was alone,” Boyd answered after a long moment. “I’m a foster kid, did you know that?” 

“What?” Jackson asked, surprised. “I thought I’d seen your parents though.” 

“Foster parents. I’ve been with them for years but they’ve never properly adopted me,” Boyd said. “I haven’t had a real family since my sister went missing when I was ten years old, just before I came to Beacon Hills. Derek offered me a place to belong. We might not be the most functional group, but we are a pack and Derek, Isaac, and Erica are my family. It hasn’t been what I expected but it’s still worth it.” 

“So did Derek think you were the best to make the pitch for me to join up because we’re both orphans or something?” Jackson asked. Boyd scowled at him. 

“Do you have to work at it to be this big of an asshole or does it just come naturally?” he asked. 

“The fuck am I supposed to say to that shit?” Jackson snapped, feeling guilty and hating it. 

“Whatever man, just don’t kill anyone,” Boyd said, getting up and leaving. The guilty feeling in Jackson’s chest swelled and he scowled, shoving the feeling down. 

He spent most of the day trying to ignore the world and work off his anger. He wasn’t even sure what he was so angry about. He ran, and practiced his lacrosse shots, though he wasn’t sure what the point was anymore. He didn’t have to try now that he was a wolf. It made him want to kill McCall a little more for all his bullshit. He made it until just after dinner before he gave in and left his house in a huff, smelling the air to try to catch Boyd’s scent. It didn’t take long to find it, a clean smell of Boyd’s soap and something almost like cedar that was just Boyd. He was surprised to realize that it was familiar, and he was fond of it. That thought nearly made him turn back but he didn’t. 

He eventually found Boyd sitting against a tree at the edge of the park, reading a book that could be used as a brick. Boyd ignored him as he came up even though Jackson knew he knew he was there. Jackson hesitated for a moment and then dropped down to sit next to Boyd. 

“Look, I’m sorry I was a dick about your family stuff,” Jackson muttered. “I’m not good at that stuff because of my own stuff.” 

“What stuff?” Boyd asked. “I know you’re adopted but your parents love you. I mean your mom checks on you in the middle of the night like some shit from a story book.” 

“They had to cut me out of my dead biological mother’s corpse okay?” Jackson pointed out. “Don’t tell me I don’t have Stuff.” 

“Fine, just don’t give me crap about my stuff,” Boyd said. 

“Fine.” Jackson agreed. They were both quiet for a few minutes and eventually Jackson realized that Boyd had gone back to reading and probably wouldn’t say anything if Jackson didn’t. 

“So I still don’t want to be a part of Derek’s stupid pack,” Jackson said, “But you’re pretty cool, so if you ever want to come over and hang out or whatever, you don’t have to make excuses about making sure I’m not murdering people.” 

“Yeah, I might stop by,” Boyd said. 

“Whatever,” Jackson said casually. Boyd let out a breath that was something like a laugh but not quite, and went back to reading. Jackson pulled his phone out and scrolled through twitter. Eventually the light faded and Boyd stood up. 

“See you around,” he said with the tiniest smile, offering Jackson a hand up. 

“See you,” Jackson agreed, letting Boyd pull him to his feet. They walked off in opposite directions but somehow Jackson felt a little bit less alone. 

~~~~~

After that Boyd stopped by every other day or so. Sometimes he and Jackson talked, or played video games, sometimes Boyd read while Jackson messed around on his phone or laptop, not one for reading for pleasure. It was the weirdest friendship Jackson had ever had but he really liked having Boyd around. They usually didn’t talk about serious stuff but every now and then it came up. Jackson appreciated the straightforward way Boyd dealt with things. He didn’t bother with any of the ridiculous dancing around nonsense that Stilinski or McCall would have done. 

“So why have you been avoiding your best friend?” Boyd asked him one day. 

“Who says I’ve been avoiding Danny?” Jackson asked him. 

“I do,” Boyd pointed out. “I’ve seen you ignoring his texts, and his scent has gone stale around here. I know you’re not visiting him either because his scent isn’t on you at all and it used to be all over you. So what is up?” 

“I was an asshole to him before and I don’t know how to explain it. I also can’t look him in the eye without remembering that I tried to kill him when I was the kanima,” Jackson said.

“It’s Beacon Hills man, people are used to some weird stuff. Explain it all to him,” Boyd said. 

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to tell me not to tell anyone about the supernatural on pain of death or something? I doubt Derek wants it spread around.” Jackson protested. Boyd rolled his eyes. 

“Half the town is tied up in the supernatural, so screw it. He’s your best friend, and you are a mess without him,” Boyd said. “You pout, it’s ridiculous,” 

“I don’t pout,” Jackson protested. Boyd rolled his eyes. 

“You didn’t try to kill him on purpose, Jacks, you weren’t in control,” he said. “The only shit you can blame yourself for is ignoring him now that you are in control.” 

Jackson wondered when Boyd had started calling him Jacks, and why he didn’t mind it when nicknames normally drove him crazy. He supposed it was only fair given that he called Boyd Vee all the time.

“It’s not that simple,” Jackson declared after a few moments, and he thought that that was that. He probably should have known better. 

He got a text from Boyd a few days later asking him to meet him in the lower unfinished floors of the building where Derek now lived in his loft. Jackson was already out the door before he considered that maybe he shouldn’t go. It could be a trap to try to get him into the Hale pack or something. Except that he knew Boyd wouldn’t do that to him. He was honest sometimes to a fault. So Jackson showed up. He wasn’t sure exactly what he had expected but it wasn’t to find Danny standing next to Boyd in the wide empty room.

Jackson hesitated a few steps through the doorway but Danny had already spotted him. He walked towards him purposefully and Jackson didn’t need to be a werewolf to know that he was about to get punched. He couldn’t have dodged or fought back, but if anyone deserved to punch him it was Danny --an argument could have been made for Lydia but she had already slapped him at least twice when they had talked everything out-- so Jackson just stood still. He was stunned by how much the punch still hurt, even though he was a werewolf. Danny apparently had a right hook like a hammer. 

“That is for getting yourself involved in all this crap without telling me,” Danny hissed when Jackson straightened. Then he moved forwards again and Jackson almost expected another blow but instead Danny pulled him into a hug. Jackson didn’t know what to do at first but he couldn’t help hugging Danny back. Something in his chest that he hadn’t even realized was wound tight enough to snap was starting to loosen. 

“And what was that for?” Jackson asked when Danny had finally let him go. Danny rolled his eyes. 

“That was because you’re my best friend and even though you’re an idiot who decided not to tell me about becoming a werewolf, I’m really glad you’re not dead,” Danny said. 

“Or an evil lizard monster,” Boyd contributed quietly with the tiniest smirk. Danny laughed. 

“That too,” he agreed. Jackson was staring at them both trying to process what he had said, and how he was supposed to react to Danny knowing. 

“Did you tell him everything, Vee?” he asked Boyd after a few seconds. Boyd nodded. 

“Yeah I figured you wouldn’t have the guts,” he said with a smirk. Jackson scowled at him but didn’t bother responding, turning back to his best friend instead. 

“I- I’m sorry, Danny,” he muttered. Danny nodded. 

“Yeah, I know, if you weren’t you would have barged back into my house demanding tech help a month ago, damn the consequences,” he pointed out. “I forgive you for being a dick, and for the lizard exploits, but I’m still pissed at you for not telling me anything. We’re supposed to be friends dude, you tell your friends these things.” 

“Really?” Jackson demanded. “Who just up and tells their friends, ‘oh by the way I was bitten by an alpha werewolf was an evil murderous lizard that assassinated half the police department and attacked you at least once but now I’m just a werewolf’? How do you say that? How are you possibly okay with this?” 

“Well first of all, you should have told me before the story got that long, secondly the murder wasn’t your fault, and thirdly we live in Beacon Hills man. My family has lived here for ages, the old families all know, my parents gave me the werewolf talk when I was like ten,” Danny said. 

“Hypocrite, why didn’t you tell me?” Jackson asked. 

“Because I wasn’t involved, we don’t shout about this stuff, it doesn’t do any good. If I had gotten wrapped up in it I would have told you.” Danny insisted. 

“I still think it’s more complicated than just automatically telling your friends about this stuff,” Jackson said. 

“What do you want to bet McCall ran straight to Stiles the second he figured it out?” Danny challenged. 

“That’s not fair, McCall and Stilinski are weirdly codependent on each other, and we are not,” Jackson pointed out. Danny hesitated for a second and then sighed and nodded. 

“You aren’t wrong about that,” he admitted with a small laugh. 

“Well you two obviously need to talk,” Boyd said, looking uncomfortable. “And you’re not doing it here,” he added. Jackson nodded, he and Danny already turning to the door. 

“Thanks for telling me, Boyd,” Danny said before they left.

“Yeah,” Jackson agreed, the closest to a thank you he could manage. “See you around, Vee.” Jackson lifted a hand in a half wave before leading Danny back outside. 

“See you, Jacks,” Boyd called after him.

“How did you get here?” Jackson asked Danny when they got outside not seeing Danny’s car. 

“Boyd picked me up on his motorcycle, he has a motorcycle now,” Danny answered, swinging himself into the passenger seat easily. “I was a little afraid they were going to try to recruit me or something at first, which would have been bad. I so do not want to be a werewolf.” 

“It’s not all that bad, you know,” Jackson grumbled. Danny laughed at him. 

“I don’t care, I don’t want to be a damned werewolf, not my style,” he said. “Anyway, let’s talk about you.”

“What about me?” Jackson asked. 

“Well for starters, since when are you and Boyd so close?” Danny asked. 

“We aren’t that close, we’ve just been hanging out every now and then,” Jackson muttered. 

“Excuse me, he not only went out of his way to tell me everything so you didn’t have to, but he also called you Jacks and you didn’t kill him, so something is going on with you two,” Danny said. Jackson was glad he was already over halfway across town, always paranoid that the other werewolves were close enough to overhear private conversations. 

“Okay so we’re friends or whatever, it’s mostly that he got tapped to keep an eye on me for Derek,” he said, knowing it was a lie and not really sure why he was bothering to lie. Danny sighed as Jackson pulled into the driveway, but he waited until they were safely hidden in Jackson’s basement before continuing the conversation, apparently also wary of possible werewolf eavesdropping. 

“I don’t know why you bother to lie to me man,” he said as he flopped down to lounge on the couch. “You’re a shitty liar. You care about Boyd, I can tell. I was just trying to figure out exactly how much you care for him.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jackson demanded, genuinely confused. Danny sighed in frustration again.

“Well, I mean, he’s handsome and obviously into you, and you and Lydia split a while ago now, so,” he shrugged pointedly. 

Jackson went red. Danny was the only person he had ever told that he was bisexual. The two of them had been friends for a long time so when Danny started figuring things out and came out as gay they had talked about sexuality a lot --not that Jackson would ever admit to having those touchy-feely sort of conversations to anyone. It hadn’t taken too much thinking to realize that he wasn’t just attracted to women. Jackson was hot and he knew it; he was attracted to other hot people. It was that simple. However he had also decided early that he didn’t want to deal with being out as queer in a town like Beacon Hills. He had told Danny he was only going to date girls until he got to college. Jackson hadn’t minded the restriction, not when someone like Lydia was around. 

“What the hell do you mean Boyd is _obviously_ into me?” Jackson asked. “He isn’t obvious about anything, anyway I’m pretty sure he and Erica are a thing.” 

“Well I don’t know what is going on with Erica but trust me when I say I can tell he likes you as more than just a friend,” Danny said. “I think he’s worried that you and I are something though.” 

“Gross,” Jackson said flatly. Danny hit him in the shoulder. 

“Don’t be an asshole,” he laughed. “I’m hot!”

“I’ve known you since we were children, you’re too close to family for me to even notice,” Jackson pointed out. 

“Right back at you,” Danny agreed. “But that’s not necessarily clear to the rest of the world, I’m hot and I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m also like the only significant person in your life besides your ex.” 

“How is Lydia by the way?” Jackson asked, “Have you seen her?” 

“She’s fine, been hanging out with Stiles and them a lot,” Danny replied. “Actually she seems like she’s been doing really well. She’s let go of the whole stupid queen bee act more these days and she seems happier in herself.” 

“That’s good,” Jackson said. He really meant it too, he wanted Lydia to be happy, he owed her a lot. 

“Yeah, you two were never really good for each other, no offense,” Danny said. Jackson just nodded. He had thought he had succeeded in taking their conversation safely away from the topic of Boyd until Danny kicked him lightly with an outstretched foot. 

“So are you into, Boyd?” he asked. “I mean, he’s your type right? Tall, broody, ripped, smarter than you, willing to call out your bullshit.”

“I don’t know, we’re friends,” Jackson muttered, choosing to ignore Danny’s description of his type of guy, which was blunt but accurate. “I don’t have many friends these days as you so helpfully pointed out, and he’s the only other werewolf I get along with. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if Derek has some weirdass rules about his pack dating certain people or something. Also I already told you I wasn’t going to date any guys while I’m still in high school.” 

“Okay, but that doesn’t really answer my question,” Danny said. Jackson scowled at him and kicked him a bit harder than he deserved. 

“Can we talk about something else?” Jackson asked. Danny nodded. 

“All right then,” he agreed. “You’re a werewolf without a pack, technically an omega, that’s a dangerous position to be in.” 

“Jesus christ Danny! Really?!”Jackson snapped in disbelief. “Did Boyd tell you to try to convince me to join Derek’s pack?” 

“No,” Danny said, “but he’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.” 

“I don’t need anyone worrying about me. I’m fine. I’ve got everything under control. I want nothing to do with Scott’s absurd gang that parades as a pack without an alpha. Then you have Derek who might have been the alpha that bit me but he did it because he meant for me to die. Why would I join up with him? Boyd told me there’s another pack nearby, led by an alpha named Satomi, but apparently she prefers to choose her betas herself and anyway I don’t want to be with a pack of strangers. I don’t need a pack.”

“You’re sure that Derek was trying to kill you?” Danny asked. “I mean, they always say the bite is a gift right? But it has a good chance of killing you no matter what. It sounds more like a test to me.” 

“Derek is still an asshole,” Jackson muttered. He hadn’t thought about the Bite as being a test before, and wondered what the hell it meant that he turned into a kanima first. 

“Well you should get along then, you’re an asshole too,” Danny said with a smirk. Jackson laughed and shoved Danny lightly which only made Danny laugh too. 

Danny didn’t press the conversation into hard topics again, and Jackson was grateful. They spent the rest of the day just hanging out the way they always had. Jackson hadn’t realized just how much he missed having Danny around. Of course none of that stopped him from dwelling on what Danny had said about Boyd, and wondering what exactly was between them. 

~~~~~

Despite the fact that Jackson had gone through several full moons without incident, Boyd still came over and spent the night at his house every full moon. Jackson hadn’t thought much of it before Danny had to go and start asking hard questions, but the next full moon he felt on edge from the moment Boyd arrived two days after fixing things for Jackson and Danny. Danny was right, Boyd was handsome. Actually Boyd was hot. It wasn’t that Jackson hadn’t noticed it before, he just hadn’t thought about it much. He silently cursed his best friend. 

“So you work things out with Danny?” Boyd asked almost as soon as Jackson let him in. Jackson nodded. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” he said. “It’s good to have my best friend back.” 

“You’re welcome,” Boyd said. Jackson rolled his eyes at him, stopping in the kitchen to grab snacks and then heading for the basement. 

They settled into their usual places on the basement couch in front of the flat screen TV. Jackson pulled out video game controllers and tossed one to Boyd. Even with some part of him on edge, too aware of Boyd next to him, their usual routine was comfortable. 

“So can I ask you a question?” Boyd asked later as they lounged on opposite ends of the couch doing nothing. Neither of them had said anything in a while, maybe an hour, and Jackson didn’t want to check what time of night it was. Despite the sleep dragging at his eyelids, the question made something in him jolt fully awake, suddenly worried that Boyd somehow knew what he and Danny had talked about the other day. 

“Sure,” Jackson agreed with a shrug, trying to be casual. 

“If you didn’t want to be a part of a pack, why did you want to be a werewolf?” Boyd asked. “I mean we all had reasons. I wanted a family. Erica wanted to get rid of her epilepsy and be in control of her own life. Isaac wanted strength, to be able to defend himself. Why did you want the Bite?” 

“I-” Jackson hesitated. His first instinct was to say that it had been because of Scott and lacrosse but he knew that wasn’t the real truth. He thought about it for a while, trying to remember what had sparked the desperate need he had felt when he realized that lycanthropy was an option. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Boyd said when Jackson had been silent for long enough to be uncomfortable. Jackson shook his head. 

“It’s not that. I’m just not all that sure,” he said. 

“Really?” Boyd asked. “I mean you sought Derek out to try to get the Bite, you had to have a reason right?” 

“I didn’t say I didn’t have a reason, it’s just hard to explain,” Jackson snapped at him. Boyd leveled a flat stare at him, raising his eyebrows. It was his way of silently callking Jackson out on being an asshole for no reason. 

“Sorry,” Jackson muttered, knowing his cheeks were tinged red. “I guess it’s the same reason I do everything: to be the best,” he said eventually. 

“What does that mean?” Boyd asked. Jackson grimaced. 

“It’s just the way I am, you know?” he said. “I have to be the best at everything, lacrosse, popularity, all of it. Werewolves are better than humans, we’re stronger and faster, more capable. As soon as I knew it was an option, I had to have it.” 

“Why?” Boyd asked. 

“I don’t know,” Jackson answered, holding back the instinct to snap at Boyd. “I just can’t be ordinary. I can’t.” 

“You could never be ordinary,” Boyd said, sounding genuinely surprised. “It’s not like you could ever be like me, someone hidden in the shadows that most people don’t even notice. Werewolf or not, lacrosse star or not; you’re one of those people who is always going to stand out as someone exceptional.” 

As soon as he had finished the statement he seemed to regret it, looking down away from Jackson with a tense set to his jaw. His dark skin combined with the low light in the basement meant that Jackson couldn’t tell, but he would have bet that Boyd was blushing. Jackson’s chest felt tight, and his stomach fluttering as he tried to process what Boyd had said. It was probably the kindest thing anyone had ever said to him. Jackson didn’t know how to fit something like that into his chest, and it stirred something warm and reckless in him. He sat up a bit more and turned to Boyd properly. 

“You aren’t ordinary either,” he said, not sure exactly where the words were coming from. He usually was not good with words, or expressing feelings, but he felt a need to try. “Just because people don’t always notice you doesn’t make you less special.”

“Maybe,” Boyd agreed very quietly after several too long seconds. He had sat up as well, and turned to look Jackson in the eye. 

The space in between them felt infinite and infinitesimal at the same time, and Jackson’s resolve broke. He leaned forward and kissed Boyd, holding his face in his hands. For half a second Boyd didn’t move and a pit opened in Jackson’s stomach. When he kissed back it felt like a puzzle piece slotting into place. Something in Jackson’s chest let out a happy sigh and he couldn’t help thinking ‘oh this is what Love feels like.’ Then that thought sank in and his heart skipped a beat in terror. He pulled back abruptly, shooting to his feet and turning away. He couldn’t look at Boyd. 

“Shit,” he hissed. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Why?” Boyd asked. His voice was calm and even but Jackson could hear his heart racing and smell the adrenaline, attraction, and now fear coming from him. 

“I can’t do this now,” Jackson muttered. “I don’t- I just can’t- look can you just go home for now? I swear I won’t kill anyone, I just need to be alone.” 

“Seriously? You kissed me, Jacks. Why are you the one losing it?” Boyd demanded and through the anger in his voice Jackson could still hear the hurt. For the first time in a long time, he wished he wasn’t a werewolf, so that he wouldn’t have to have such good senses telling him how much he was hurting his friend.

“I just am, will you please fuck off now?” Jackson snapped. It wasn’t what he had meant to say. He wished he knew how to stop himself from being a dick, but he didn’t. When he was angry he just opened his mouth and the worst things came out. 

“Fine,” Boyd said with a sigh, heading towards the door. He paused at the bottom of the stairs though, glancing back. “You know I wish…” he shook his head. 

“What?” Jackson asked. Boyd shook his head again. 

“Nevermind. See you around, Jackson,” he said. Then he was gone. 

Jackson sank down onto the couch and buried his head in his hands with a grimace. His claws were out and he couldn’t calm down enough to put them away, but he was still in control. Actually he wasn’t in control, he didn’t know what he was doing, or what he should do, but his wolf side wasn’t going to escape which was something. 

He hadn’t expected to develop feelings for Boyd. Hell, he hadn’t even been sure they were friends for a while at first. Boyd was quiet and even keeled even under pressure which made him hard to read. Only Jackson had gotten to know him and he was better at reading the small changes in Boyd’s expressions. He always recognized the small smiles, the glint in his eyes when he was teasing Jackson in a deadpan voice, the tension in his jaw when something upset him. Jackson knew Boyd, and he liked him. 

Jackson had even started to accept the fact that he liked Boyd as more than just a friend. He hadn’t been sure what to do about it, but he was okay with it. Whatever had happened when he kissed him though, that was way too much. He couldn’t even think that word again. He had never told Lydia that he loved her, because he knew full well that he didn’t, not properly. He hadn’t so much as told his parents that he loved them in years. As far as Jackson Whittemore was concerned Love was a forbidden word and a nearly impossible emotion, he had thought. Now his heart had to go and betray him by thinking he could feel that way for Boyd. He almost wanted to laugh but didn’t because he knew it would sound completely hysterical. He didn’t even want a boyfriend. He definitely didn’t want to be in Love with some stupid broody handsome werewolf who had only started spending time with him because he was trying to recruit Jackson. He didn’t want it, and he wouldn’t accept it. 

Only Jackson couldn’t stop reliving the kiss in his mind. He couldn’t stop himself from remembering how good it had felt to be held by Vernon Boyd. He couldn’t stop thinking about that feeling of ease and comfort, like it was meant to be. He couldn’t help feeling like Boyd was the only person in the world who had ever really accepted him for himself. Boyd saw him for exactly what he was, all the good and the bad, and he was okay with it. He called Jackson out on his bullshit when he had to, and he believed that Jackson could be better, but he didn’t deny any of it, or even dislike Jackson for it. Jackson hadn’t realized before how much of a relief it was to have someone genuinely like him for who he was, all of who he was. His parents didn’t know half of who he was. Lydia knew a lot of it but didn’t like all of it or understand it all. Even Danny, who understood him as well as he understood himself, didn’t always like Jackson, not that Jackson blamed him. 

Jackson was fumbling with his phone and calling Danny before he could think twice about it. He noticed as the phone started ringing that it was nearly three in the morning, but he didn’t hang up, he just waited. Danny picked up just as Jackson was about to give up. 

“What’s wrong?” Danny asked. 

“Something has to be wrong?” Jackson challenged, out of instinct more than anything. 

“It’s the middle of the night, and also it’s a full moon, which is the only reason I kept my ringtone on in case you called in the middle of the night to tell me you needed help burying a body or something,” Danny said. “If something isn’t wrong I’m going to make you pay for waking me up.” 

“It’s Boyd,” Jackson admitted after a second. 

“You killed Boyd?” Danny asked, sounding properly awake for the first time. 

“No, I didn’t kill him, I didn’t kill anyone. I kissed him,” Jackson growled. Danny sighed with relief on the other end of the line and Jackson wanted to snap at him for assuming Jackson would have killed someone but he managed to hold his tongue. 

“Okay, isn’t that a good thing though?” Danny asked. “You like him, he likes you, right? I mean did he not kiss back or something?” 

“No, I mean yeah he kissed back, but-” Jackson started. 

“How was it?” Danny interrupted. 

“Not the point!” Jackson snapped, feeling his eyes flash blue. “I freaked out and told him to get out and I’m still freaking out. I don’t want this! I never asked for this!” 

“Of course you didn’t,” Danny said in the patient tone of voice that one would use to speak to a petulant child. “No one asks for something complicated and hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. Relationships aren’t always expected but if you’re lucky enough to have someone you like, like you, it’s worth a shot.”

“It’s not that simple,” Jackson said. “I don’t just like him. I mean I think I more than just like him and I can’t- I don’t know what to do.” Danny was silent for a long moment, clearly surprised and processing. 

“You love him?” he asked. 

“Don’t say that word,” Jackson snapped back instantly. Danny let out a huff halfway between a sigh and a laugh. 

“Jackson, I know you’re freaking out right now, but I need you to stop and take a breath and try to remember that this is a good thing,” Danny said. 

“No it’s not. I don’t know how he feels about me, I mean he called me exceptional and he kissed me but that doesn’t mean he feels _That_ for me, what if he rejects me?” Jackson asked, and then shook his head. “Fuck, even if he does feel that way I don’t want a boyfriend, and I don’t want to fuck up our friendship, and I just can’t do this!” 

“Okay,” Danny said, his calm voice a bit infuriating even as it helped Jackson calm down a tiny bit. “Clearly you’re screwed up about all of this, and I can’t change that. I think you need to take some time to think. I also think you need to talk to Boyd about it.” 

“That’s not happening,” Jackson insisted. 

“Just consider it,” Danny told him. “Wait until you’re not all worked up by the full moon and think it all over rationally. Until then, try to get some rest and chill out,” 

“Easier said than done,” Jackson pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know, but still,” Danny said. “Look, are you going to be okay over there by yourself or do you need me to come over and keep an eye on you?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Jackson said, even though he wasn’t sure if it was true. He just knew that he couldn’t bear Danny coming over and looking at him in that ‘you’re such an emotionally stunted idiot’ way he did sometimes. 

Jackson made it through the night of the full moon without making his life worse, which he considered a win. The next day dawned and Jackson decided to do everything he could to forget what had happened. He was determined to go on with his life like nothing had changed in spite of everything that had. So he did what he did every day, including his usual run. He probably should have known better than to think there wouldn’t be consequences to the night before. He was halfway through his run when a hand caught his arm and he was pulled of course and slammed into a tree. Erica had her claws at his throat before he could even figure out what was happening. Isaac was standing at her shoulder with a scowl, like a bodyguard. 

“What the hell?!” Jackson demanded. 

“What did you do to Boyd?” Erica demanded, ignoring his question. “He came back to the loft looking like a kicked puppy, and I know he was with you.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jackson muttered. She pressed her claws into his neck enough to break the skin. 

“You should know better than to try to lie to werewolves,” she hissed. “What happened last night?” 

“I’m not saying anything unless you let go of me,” Jackson growled. Erica hesitated for a moment and then let him go. 

“If you try to run away it won’t end well for you.” Isaac said. 

“What is wrong with you two?” Jackson asked, rolling his eyes at Isaac.

“We want to know what you did to hurt Boyd,” Erica snapped. “And once we know then you are either going to fix it, or I’m going to kill you.” 

“For fuck sake, we kissed, it was a mistake, that’s it.” Jackson said. “Why do you care?”

“Because he’s my best friend,” Erica said. “Now what do you mean it was a mistake? Do you have a problem with Boyd?” 

“No, Boyd is great, I just- It’s complicated okay?” Jackson said. 

“Why?” Isaac asked. “You clearly like him, and he likes you: not complicated.” 

“It’s not that simple you stupid bastard,” Jackson growled. “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you two about this. It’s none of your business.” 

“We’re a pack so it is in fact, our business,” Erica snapped back. “Boyd is our business. For whatever godforsaken reason he genuinely cares about you, so you need to pull your shit together. Boyd says that you’re actually a cool person beneath the exterior of assholery you’ve been working on for seventeen years, and I am willing to believe him, which is why we’re here telling you to be better instead of burying your body.” 

“I was for that plan, personally,” Isaac said, lifting his hand up. “I have lots of experience digging graves.” 

“Jesus christ why is everyone in this town so fucking weird?” Jackson demanded. Erica’s eyes flashed yellow and Jackson had to try hard not to flinch at her expression. 

“Okay, okay,” he muttered. “I’ll talk to Boyd, all right?” 

“Good,” Erica said with a smile that was somehow worse than her glare. Jackson took a couple steps away and when they didn’t follow him he ran back home. He wanted to say that he was surprised by Erica and Isaac’s interfering nonsense, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be surprised that they cared so much about Boyd, when he knew exactly how easy it was to care about Boyd. Jackson couldn’t resent Erica and Isaac for what happened either, he was glad that Boyd had loyal friends looking out for him. Boyd deserved a pack that loved him. Boyd was a good guy, he was smart, and hard working, and kind, and he deserved everything. 

Most of all, Jackson knew that Boyd deserved a partner who treated him right and could love him properly, and he didn’t know if he could be that person. He wished it was as easy as everyone else seemed to think it was. Of course, if Erica was telling the truth, Boyd didn’t care that Jackson wasn’t the person he deserved, he wanted him anyway. It didn’t make any sense to Jackson but there it was. He wasn’t sure what to do about it. A year before, hell even a few months before, Jackson would have just stopped talking to Boyd and avoided the whole situation. Things had changed though, Jackson had changed. He was probably a better person for it, but he wished he hadn’t. It was easier just shutting everyone and everything out, even if it was lonely. Still, whatever else Jackson thought, Boyd also deserved to have a say in what happened between them. They had to talk. 

That was easier said than done though. Jackson took a shower, and even ate some dinner trying to think of what to say and still had nothing by the time he retreated to sit on his bed with his phone. He had been staring at his phone for an hour, typing out messages and deleting them over and over when it buzzed with a text message from Boyd. He was almost too afraid to click it open, but his hands betrayed him, moving out of habit. 

_Vee- Sorry about Erica and Isaac_

It was the opening that Jackson needed to start a conversation but he still hesitated. He grimaced and clenched his fists a few times before willing himself to say something, anything. 

_Jackson- Don’t worry about it_

_Jackson- hey, can we talk?_

_Vee- I thought you sort of covered it the other night with Get Out_

_Jackson- I’m sorry_

_Jackson- I didn’t mean it_

_Jackson- I really want to talk to you._

_Vee- Fine_

_Vee- I’m at Derek’s loft._

Jackson shoved his phone away from him in a panic. He knew, objectively, that asking to talk to Boyd would then lead to them seeing each other in order to talk, but somehow he was still surprised, and not ready. He pulled his phone out again to look at the brief conversation one more time and then set it down again. He paced his room for several minutes and then grabbed his phone again and called Danny. 

“How can you be having another crisis?” Danny asked when he picked up. “It’s barely been a few hours since the last one.” 

“I asked Boyd to talk to me and he said yes, and now I’m supposed to go talk to him and I still have no idea what to say. What do I say?” Jackson asked. Danny laughed at him for a second before sobering slightly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just nice to see you care so much about another person,” he said. “I can’t tell you what to say to him though, Jackson. I can’t tell you the right thing to do, you’re going to just have to be honest with him.” 

“Why are you so unhelpful?!” Jackson demanded, frustrated.

“Believe it or not, no one else is going to be able to help more,” Danny answered. “Look, just try not to get angry or swear or shout at him, and be honest.” 

“These are all things I have never been good at,” Jackson pointed out. 

“I know,” Danny agreed. “But for what it’s worth, I genuinely think that you could make this thing work, and I think it would be good for you.” 

“Thanks,” Jackson said, begrudgingly. 

“No problem, now go talk to him,” Danny said. “And wear something cute.” 

“Shut up,” Jackson said, and then hung up before either of them said goodbye. 

~~~~~

When Jackson got to Derek’s loft, Boyd let him in without saying anything. Jackson glanced around, but he didn’t see anyone else and couldn’t hear any heartbeats besides his and Boyd’s 

“Where’s the rest of your pack?” he asked. 

“Not sure,” Boyd said with a shrug. He had turned his back on Jackson and was staring out the huge window that made up the whole of the one wall. Jackson opened his mouth to say something, came up entirely blank and shut his mouth again. They stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, and Jackson wanted to sink through the floor. 

“Are you not even going to look at me?” he asked eventually, without really meaning to. 

“You said you wanted to talk, talk,” Boyd said, not turning around. Jackson grimaced. 

“Look, I know I fucked up. I’m sorry,” Jackson blurted. “I didn’t mean to hurt you I just- when I kissed you everything got really real and I freaked out. I care about you, and realizing how much scared me, because I didn’t ever mean to care so much, for anyone. I’m not good at feelings.”

“It isn’t my strongest suit either,” Boyd admitted, finally turning around. “And it isn’t like I intended for this to happen either, I’m just not afraid to admit it when I have feelings for someone.” 

“I know,” Jackson agreed. “You’re braver than I am. You’re better than me in a lot of ways, which is part of why this scares me so much. I’m not good at relationships. I fuck up and, I hurt people and I ruin things. I don’t want to ruin this. We’re friends, you know? You’re one of my only friends, and I don’t want to ruin that.” 

“I think we may have already crossed that bridge, Jacks,” Boyd said. Jackson nodded with a grimace. 

“Yeah, my fault again, sorry,” he muttered. Boyd nodded. Jackson sighed. “I don’t even get why you like me, Vee. I’m such a shit show.” 

“You’re not,” Boyd said. “I mean you are a bit, right now, but so is everyone else in this town. You’re trying to get better, which is what matters.” 

“I’m going to keep fucking up though, especially at any sort of relationship,” Jackson said. “I mean, you saw how I treated Lydia right? I don’t know if I can be better than that. I want to, but I don’t really know how. I’m going to hurt you again, and I really don’t want to. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than me.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Boyd answered. “Sure, you might hurt me, and I might hurt you, that’s what people do, but as for deserving better than you: I don’t buy it. You are a better person than you think you are.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Jackson said. “You think you’re ordinary, when you’re one of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met. You see the world and the people in it more clearly than anyone I’ve ever met, and you still manage to find the good things. You don’t flaunt your intelligence or your sense of humor but that doesn’t mean they aren’t aren’t incredible. You’re so strong, and you’ve got more common sense than the rest of your pack combined. You’re so far from ordinary it’s astonishing that you could ever think you aren’t.” 

“I thought you were trying to convince me that it was a bad idea to date you,” Boyd said. “Saying things like that don’t help your case.” 

“I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I’m just trying to be honest, and make sure you understand,” Jackson said. 

“I understand,” Boyd told him. “I know you Jackson. I like you.” 

“Before you left the other day you started to say something, that you wished something, what was it?” Jackson asked. 

“I was going to say I wished you would let yourself feel things,” Boyd answered, looking down. 

“What do you want, Boyd?” Jackson asked with a sigh. 

“I want you to want to be with me,” Boyd admitted. Jackson hesitated for a few seconds and then stepped forward and reached out to Boyd. 

“I do want to be with you,” he said. “I do, but-” 

“You’re afraid,” Boyd finished for him. Jackson grimaced because it was true and he didn’t want it to be true. The worst thing was, those two worse summed up his entire life. He was afraid. He was afraid that he wasn’t enough. He was afraid to be rejected, afraid of being judged, afraid of being lesser. He was so afraid of losing people he loved that he refused to love at all. He was so tired of being afraid all the time. 

“I don’t care,” he decided. 

“What?” Boyd asked. 

“I don’t care,” Jackson repeated. 

“Don’t care about me?” Boyd asked. 

“I don’t care that I’m afraid,” Jackson said. “I’m done letting it control me. I want to be with you, fuck being afraid.” He hovered, inches away from Boyd, wanting to move forward but forcing himself to wait, praying that Boyd would move into him. The time between one breath, and the next felt like an eternity. Then Boyd was closing the gap between them and pressing his lips to Jackson’s. 

Jackson wrapped his arms around Boyd and kissed him back. He felt that same welling of emotion in his chest that he had before, the sense of rightness and that feeling he suspected was love. It still scared the life out of him, but he let it wash over him and away, overpowered by the wonderful feeling of kissing Boyd. Boyd eventually pulled back slightly, both of them panting a little as he did. 

“Can we go back to your place? Derek and the others are going to come back soon enough and I don’t want to deal with that tonight,” Boyd said. Jackson nodded, kissed him one more time, and then dragged him out of the loft by the hand. 

The next morning Boyd woke Jackson up obnoxiously early to kiss him on the cheek and say goodbye before slipping out of the window. Jackson fell back asleep with a glowing feeling in his chest that he had never thought he’d have.

~~~~~

Over the next few weeks Jackson and Boyd found their footing as a couple. They didn’t go out in public together much, neither of them particularly fond of PDA, especially when it might mean homophobic assholes taking notice of them. Jackson didn’t want to find out his control wasn’t perfect by accidentally murdering some idiot who had a problem with his boyfriend. Mostly they spent time in Jackson’s basement or walking together in the reserve. Occasionally they spent time at Derek’s loft when Derek wasn’t around. Occasionally Erica or Isaac were around, and while they gave Jackson a lot of shit, he realized sometime around the third time he hung out with Boyd’s packmates that the three of them were actually getting along. He still thought that Isaac was obnoxious and Erica was a bit insane, but he was starting to like them in spite of himself. 

Then one night he was woken up by the sound of his bedroom window sliding shut. Jackson silently cursed himself for forgetting to lock it after Boyd left that evening before sitting up on full alert. Derek Hale was standing in his bedroom. Jackson rolled off his bed to his feet away from Derek, facing him with his claws out ready for a fight.

“What do you want?” he demanded. 

“I come in peace, I just wanted to talk,” Derek said, holding his hands up calmly. Jackson thought about telling him to get the fuck out anyway, but he stopped himself. Derek was Boyd’s alpha, and whatever Jackson thought of him he seemed to genuinely care about his pack.

“You could have knocked, or even just called me,” Jackson said angrily, even though he relaxed his stance and his claws retreated.

“I wasn’t sure you would agreed to speak with me if given a choice,” Derek said.

“Fair enough,” Jackson said with a small shrug. “I assume this is about Boyd and I. Do you have some sort of rules against outsiders dating your Betas or something?” 

“If I did, would it change anything?” Derek challenged. “Would you leave Boyd if I told you I’d make you regret it if you kept seeing him?” 

“Only if Boyd asked me to,” Jackson replied. “If he had to choose between me and his pack I wouldn’t blame him for choosing the pack. If it was just you posturing and threatening to kill me without it hurting Boyd, I’d tell you to fuck off.” He was a little surprised by his own answer but he knew it was true. It had taken so much to get to the point where he was ready to take a risk for Boyd but he had gotten there and Boyd was worth it. He wasn’t going to throw away all that for something as stupid as Derek Hale threatening him. 

“Good answer,” Derek said with a tiny nod of approval. “Boyd deserves someone willing to fight for him.”

“He does,” Jackson agreed. “And I hope I can be that person.” 

“My Betas seem to think that you are,” Derek said. “They like you, or at the very least respect you. Apparently you’re a lot more than what you first appeared.” 

“I would like to think so,” Jackson muttered. “Is there a point to this enumeration of my good qualities?” 

“We got off on the wrong foot,” Derek said, making Jackson snort. Derek scowled but nodded. “Okay, more than on the wrong foot, but the point is I came here to apologize. I am sorry for the ways in which I mistreated you.” 

“You tried to kill me,” Jackson pointed out. “Twice.” 

“When was the second time?” Derek asked, sounding genuinely surprised. 

“You bit me hoping that I would die instead of turn,” Jackson said. Derek made a face at that. 

“I don’t know if that’s true,” he said. 

“Oh, you wanted me in your pack at that point?” Jackson asked with a tone of complete disbelief. Derek sighed and looked down, looking human and very young all of a sudden. 

“I don’t know what I wanted to happen,” he admitted. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I was sort of a mess in general and a pretty bad alpha. I’ve been trying to get better.”

“Finally something we have in common,” Jackson muttered. Derek let out the tiniest chuckle. 

“So I hear,” he agreed. “I am sorry I tried to kill you, okay? It was a mistake. I was hoping the two of us could start over, because when it comes down to it, you are one of my Betas. I know you don’t want to be in my pack, but I bit you, and you’re with Boyd and Erica and Isaac care about you in their own ways as well, so I do as well. Whether you like it or not, you’re more than over halfway into the pack already. I would prefer it if you agreed to be a full member of my pack, though you are of course, not obligated to agree.” 

“Wow, you’re trying real hard to be alpha feel-good huh?” Jackson asked smirking. Derek scowled at him. 

“I’m not going to hold your hand while we make daisy chains, but I would like to be on good terms,” he growled. Jackson hesitated for a few seconds, supposedly in thought but mostly just to irritate Derek. The truth was, he had been thinking about what to do about a pack for a while. He was starting to realize that everyone who told him that werewolves needed packs had been telling the truth. He needed a pack. What was more, he wanted a pack. Even with his best friend back in his life, and a new boyfriend who he loved, Jackson was lonely, and he was sick of it. 

“Why don’t we give it a trial run?” he suggested. “I’ll spend time with your pack, do whatever it is your betas usually do, for a few weeks, and if it goes all right then I’ll agree to formally be a part of the pack.” 

“I can live with that,” Derek agreed. “Don’t think I’m going to go easy on you just because you’re new, or only with us on a trial basis, though,” 

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Now get the hell out of my house.”

“Betas do not disrespect their alpha,” Derek growled, eyes flashing red. Jackson felt something in him cower under that gaze on instinct and he couldn’t help looking down. 

“Yeah, sure,” he agreed, willing to be respectful of Derek’s position but not willing to give up the attitude he brought to everything. Derek huffed but was apparently satisfied because he left without another word. 

~~~~~

The next morning Jackson was woken by his mother calling up to him that his boyfriend was there to see him. He grinned to himself and rolled out of bed, throwing on some clothes quickly without paying much attention. He didn’t have to look perfect to hang out with Boyd, Boyd didn’t care. When he got downstairs Boyd was chatting politely with his mother who was absolutely beaming at him. 

Jackson had told his parents about Boyd after about a week of dating him. He wasn’t sure why, he didn’t usually talk to his parents about his personal life, but it had felt important. They had both been happy for him, neither of them caring that he was bisexual. It had felt good. Of course then they had insisted on eating a family dinner and having Boyd over even though they hardly ever all ate together in the first place. It had been insanely awkward, but by the end of it Boyd had completely charmed Jackson’s mother. She thought he was an excellent boy, and a very good influence for Jackson to have. Jackson was still working on accepting the fact that he was dating someone his mother approved of, but Boyd was worth it. Boyd was always worth it. 

“Hey, Vee,”Jackson greeted, waiting to kiss him hello until his mother had left the room. 

“Hey, Jacks,” Boyd said with a smile. He took Jackson’s hand and tugged him towards the door. “Come on,”

“Where are we going?” Jackson asked, slipping his shoes on anyway. 

“It’s a surprise,” Boyd said. Jackson rolled his eyes but let his boyfriend steal him away, trusting him completely. 

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to make Boyd a foster child, because I know he became a werewolf looking for a family and while I know he lost his sister in canon I have absolutely no clue what was up with his parents and why they were never a thing and he seemed to have no home outside of Derek's place. 
> 
> On which note, I'm wrote this as if Derek's loft/building has extra rooms for his betas where they stay a lot, because why not.


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